Category Archives: GUESTWRITER

UNTETHERED WOMEN

 

The divine female hood is an aspect of a demanding goddess, who requires frequent obeisance. It is a shame that the sacred woman is now in intimate contact with the muck called societal expectations, a willing dancer to the beat of cultural drums and self-imposing symphony.

When did marriage become the castle at the end of a long winding journey? When should personal growth be sacrificed on the altar of perceived marital bliss?

Marriage as an institution is all well and nice. But why end an exerting educational journey immediately in a relatively subservient relationship without a chance to explore your full capabilities? Marriage immediately after school is slowly becoming the fad.

The human mind is very familiar with mutually exclusive events. The best we can do is allocating proprieties to series of events. But when you start swaying to society’s rumba, getting tied up in the proverbial conjugal knots, the priority changes from exploring your inane capabilities to trying to raise a family- catering for a husband. The career pursuit might still be in the picture as a lot of people try to juggle both and some actually do it successfully. However, one will take priority over the other, its either work or making a home. And when the little wee ones start popping out, the choice is literarily taken out of your hands, mostly.

A common excuse is that of the biological clock ticking, another excuse is the myth that a work oriented woman will never become a good wife, rather, a good servile wife, stoking the already bloated male ego. Society norms, culture and values have created an imaginary plot, creating characters that follow the written script verbatim like little obedient robots. You create steel barricades and you actually find beauty on whatever side of the steel bars you find yourself. A beautiful caged bird that sings sonorously.

Most women are through with education endeavours early, time to grow before marriage, if that’s your end game should be allocated, time to grow personally and make a good career of your life should also be provided for before the headlong rush into the marital institution which is very draining by the way.

Explore! find the limit to your endless possibilities, soar before settling down to earth. Grow. Be matured before starting a family. The biological clock is ticking, but it is still way off from the stroke of midnight. The rush for a husband won’t stop. The best fit for you will support your growth and when the best time comes for a change in priorities, from career goals to marital goals (if you are interested in marriage ), it will be on your terms and with the satisfaction of knowing you stretched your feathers before perching on the marriage tree.

My ramblings are just ramblings directed towards prisoners that are jailers of themselves, the proof of a life after this is still very hypothetical; make the most of this one limited life you have. Be happy. If the institution of marriage makes your heart flutter, then go for it, but not before questioning yourself about what you really want and not what society or family expects of you.

 

  • Ariyo Oluwatosin  ( @Tosiinee)

 

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ONE MAN, ONE PREACHER, ONE SHOUT

By URUEMURIE Ewoma Frank

I like to talk about a very interesting story I read from the bible and then show a few life principles at work. I’m sure that every Christian at one time or another must have heard or read the story of blind Bartimeus. I like telling the story, Jesus, was going to a city one day with this huge crowd of people and his personal aides, what we like to call disciples. As he got close to the city gate, the book records that there was this blind man who prior to his passing had heard a lot about Jesus; so when he got news of Him, he just started screaming, “son of David, have mercy on me”. Now the disciples thought it was their place to shut the man up, so they decided to tell him to shut up but instead of shutting down, he screamed some more and then Jesus got to notice him and healed him. I know I’m not good at telling stories so let me talk about the lessons.

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In life we are all faced with peculiar challenges, and sometimes these difficulties pose as limitation to the kind of life that we want to live but I can tell u something from the story of the blind man, the preacher and the shout.  No matter the situation you find yourself always keep yourself informed. The man was blind but he was not deaf, His limitation was not his definition. The man was blind but he already knew about the preacher, that is INFORMATION. And he knew opportunity when he heard one coming his way. Most of us are still where we are because we do not recognise opportunity when we see one, we always want to be spoon fed but the reality is that the greater the difficulty, the higher the opportunity for success. Edward Murrow said “difficulty is an excuse that history never accepts”. That blind man would tell you that success is not in a place but in a person.

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Critics and distractors would always be a part of your life; people would always tell you how incapable you are of making it. How your dreams are way bigger than you and you are way over your head with your plans but the blind man would tell you, as long as you believe in what you are doing just keep doing it. A critic is an expert at living other people’s lives but a failure at living theirs. You cannot always listen to the crowd, the crowd lacks direction, and they follow because everybody is following but when you have a dream you should stick to it and stay persistent.

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Sometime ago, I was trying to define persistence and after reading and trying, I just told myself  “Persistence is simply staying true to your values and beliefs, no matter the crowd mentality” . You are not living your life from people’s thought, you are a master of your world and if you need to shout louder to get what you want then you should shout until you can’t hear yourself.

Finally, we must always strive to chase after our dreams. Most times the closer we get, the farther it seems. We try to reach forth and we cannot seem to lay hold of the things we desire because the obstacles seem bigger than the goal. One thing I have learnt from life is this, if you want it, go for it. He knew that if he would get the attention of the preacher then he must keep doing what he was doing and he was not just shouting he had a specific shout. Do you have the specs right? Can you articulate your dreams? Can you give details to your assignment at any given time? Are you ready to deliver even when you are not prepared? Success requires you to be spontaneous. He did not know that the preacher would pass that way but when the preacher passed he was ready.

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Three key lessons from this story of the blind man, the preacher and his shout are INFORMATION, PERSISTENCE AND READINESS. Anybody who possesses these three has immense possibility for success and until you become hungry for better you would always settle for less. Don’t let the critics silence your dreams, keep pushing and keep getting better.

You can catch up with the author of this post on his blog: Iamewoma.blogspot.com ( Ewoma) and on twitter: @iamewoma . You can be rest assured that you will enjoy learning from his reservoir of knowledge.