The divine female hood is an aspect of a demanding goddess, who requires frequent obeisance. It is a shame that the sacred woman is now in intimate contact with the muck called societal expectations, a willing dancer to the beat of cultural drums and self-imposing symphony.
When did marriage become the castle at the end of a long winding journey? When should personal growth be sacrificed on the altar of perceived marital bliss?
Marriage as an institution is all well and nice. But why end an exerting educational journey immediately in a relatively subservient relationship without a chance to explore your full capabilities? Marriage immediately after school is slowly becoming the fad.
The human mind is very familiar with mutually exclusive events. The best we can do is allocating proprieties to series of events. But when you start swaying to society’s rumba, getting tied up in the proverbial conjugal knots, the priority changes from exploring your inane capabilities to trying to raise a family- catering for a husband. The career pursuit might still be in the picture as a lot of people try to juggle both and some actually do it successfully. However, one will take priority over the other, its either work or making a home. And when the little wee ones start popping out, the choice is literarily taken out of your hands, mostly.
A common excuse is that of the biological clock ticking, another excuse is the myth that a work oriented woman will never become a good wife, rather, a good servile wife, stoking the already bloated male ego. Society norms, culture and values have created an imaginary plot, creating characters that follow the written script verbatim like little obedient robots. You create steel barricades and you actually find beauty on whatever side of the steel bars you find yourself. A beautiful caged bird that sings sonorously.
Most women are through with education endeavours early, time to grow before marriage, if that’s your end game should be allocated, time to grow personally and make a good career of your life should also be provided for before the headlong rush into the marital institution which is very draining by the way.
Explore! find the limit to your endless possibilities, soar before settling down to earth. Grow. Be matured before starting a family. The biological clock is ticking, but it is still way off from the stroke of midnight. The rush for a husband won’t stop. The best fit for you will support your growth and when the best time comes for a change in priorities, from career goals to marital goals (if you are interested in marriage ), it will be on your terms and with the satisfaction of knowing you stretched your feathers before perching on the marriage tree.
My ramblings are just ramblings directed towards prisoners that are jailers of themselves, the proof of a life after this is still very hypothetical; make the most of this one limited life you have. Be happy. If the institution of marriage makes your heart flutter, then go for it, but not before questioning yourself about what you really want and not what society or family expects of you.
- Ariyo Oluwatosin ( @Tosiinee)