ANCHORLESS

Do you agree that every life needs an anchor? It can be a thought pattern, belief, faith or even an ideal. While the aforementioned can be classified into one, I am breaking it, so that it can meet you at the point of your bias. There must be a fulcrum that keeps one bound within the confines of sanity. Some mental rail guides that keep you stuck in the staircase of your personal journey.

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Irrespective of what is yours, I have found out that when there is a conflict relating to how you interact with your anchor, it destabilizes the base. You just continue to drift to and fro ideas, beliefs, without a relatively sure stand point. Your state of uncertainty affects every part of your life and even though you may look fine outside, no sooner will your innermost fear catch up and break you. Maybe it’s a function of W B Yeats thought: things fall apart when the centre does not hold.
Often times, you can even be on a slow forward move while caught in this fix. But the personal understanding that you could have been better frustrates you. Your mind paints a picture of a future that conflicts with your present condition, leaving you discouraged. You begin to doubt the path taken; contemplating shifts that deep down you know may not be the best.

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Okay, let me leave philosophy for the philosophers. For me, my Anchor is God. When my relationship with him is steady, the world looks like a big field waiting for me to come and plunder. I have realised that when God takes his place as the supreme centre, every other thing falls in place. This buttresses the bible truth that “Seek you first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and every other thing will be added to you”. However, there is a conflict between me knowing this and allowing the expression in real practical terms, hence the real problem…

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Do you understand? I am listening to NO GRAY by Jonathan McReynold and it carefully captures those moments where you feel it is cool to love the lord and still go do your thing. You know things are not so right with the relationship based on you wanting to do things your own way, but precious interactions with the father keeps you on the leash, even though it doesn’t totally stop the adventure.

 NO GRAY ( Jonathan McReynolds ) chorus

And if it’s God that I’m after
I can’t serve two masters
And before something happens
I got to turn it all around
Because I know
I can’t just have my cake and eat it too
Cause it’s real easy to stay on the fence and still do you
And it’d be cool if we could love the Lord and still go do our thing
But see it doesn’t work like that
You gotta to be white or black

Read more: Jonathan Mcreynolds – No Gray Lyrics | MetroLyrics
The residue of the real you, is the only thing keeping you from flipping your humanity (The vampire DAIRIES way) i.e. tilting to the other divide. One of the major problems associated with this phase is that, almost everything you need to be told to stay totally on GOD; you know it (partly or in full). Every message meets a brick wall of mental guards, who are comfortable with the present drift. Having an anchor means living within a specific routine, this doesn’t go well with a mind that doesn’t like the discipline of adventure.

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Then, how do you return? Where is the melting point between allowing the drift and living the life? We agree that life should not be lived as a religion, but based on a supernatural spiritual experience, so where do we make the U-turn. This is the fix…there is no anchor and things are not looking like they are supposed to. Going deeper is not an option, going back looks slim…but I press on to the cross, for on it is my frailties hung and my salvation sure.

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LONELY RANTS

Give me a friend! That understands friendship as a unique level of interpersonal relationship which fills the void of companionship in all its shades. Let me see that pair, that gives me the freshness of a soil with sufficient nutrient for life to blossom at its best.

The search continues for that key which unlocks depths of excitement and makes adventure soothing. I want to see that voice that opens my eyes and gives me enough light to see in the night. I crave that shot that short -circuits all the nervous shots to bring only the best feel. She exists! Yes I know.

While the quest has been frustrating, the joy of finding that person who makes time tick slower has kept me going. With this, I wonder the joy that loners feel. But I don’t even want to understand it, because it is a path I never want to thread.  I want that hold that leaves me free.

Sadly, often times I am encircled by much, yet I can’t find the person.  In my Journey in life, my ship has been anchored on a few hearts, with moments that stick to the heart as memorable pictures. Now, I wish I never left the docks. I wonder maybe the residues of my experiences have made it difficult to cling again. However, going back is not an option; but moving forward has been difficult.  This loneliness is hidden in the crowd. My face is set alight with smile but with roots in lonely frowns.  When will I cross the bridge into the excitement that true friendship brings? I am burdened by distance of those that can fill the void and technology is not cheap enough to bridge the gap.

I will not give up. The picture of a bed with roses is what I seek. We will enjoy the thorns and the beauty…but the world will see the beauty alone, because the thorns make us better. Help me search or are you the one?

DIARY OF AN ONDO KOPA II

If you have ever served as a youth corps member in Nigeria, you will know that there are times when you wake up on your CDS days and you really don’t feel like going. Your head paints a picture that is a product of different negatives, working hard to make sure that you do not get dressed up in your khaki and make it to the venue. Today was one of those days for me.

My khaki was not well ironed, I was tired and there was really nothing I was going to do at the CDS. Our coordinators are in camp and the allowee alerts never show. However, I dragged myself up, as the good boy I have always been, made the room look a little good and PHCN brought the light early enough for me to iron my khaki. Then I was set for another day of editorial meeting.

I thought a lot of the corps members will not come, based on the environmental conditions of no alerts, so when I got to the venue of the CDS and I did not see anybody, I began the regret thoughts. Why did I come sef? Anyway, thinking in itself is a very stressful exercise, so I walked straight to the BUKA to eat before thinking of what to do next. Then I pinged a friend, who told me that the venue for the CDS was adjusted due to some logistics. Well fed, I made my way to were my other editorial board members were staying.

They were deep into the meeting, as we had begun planning the CDS project that we wanted to do for the community. I tell you, it’s a nice and interesting thought but I wasn’t comfortable with it. Anyway, the major issue was that I joined the meeting late and I could not just send them back to the drawing board because I had something interesting to add. So I gave up trying to talk, and braced myself to participate in anything agreed upon by the group.

The mood today was not the normal; most people reacted to every message sound on their phones with a heartbeat of hope that the federal government have sent the alert. It’s been a while; we got it this late so this experience was new and adjusting was a whole new process.

One thing, we have been able to learn in this group, especially the batch A 15 is the importance of doing things together. Whatever, we set out to do, so far we put our heads and hearts together, we achieved it. But anytime there was a reservation from any member of the clique, it unconsciously flowed round and the effect is felt in the end point of the decision. Today, we demonstrated that again, got free rides together and in Unity they compelled me to part ways with some small cash even though the environmental situation did not really permit. I just had to do because the clique wanted me to…and for me, I had to respect the bond.

Today, it dawned on me that I had a lot to learn in living as a team.  In my head, the importance of looking beyond me was emphasised. I almost left the clique, when my uncle drove by and stopped to pick me. But then, he made me understand subtly that staying together was the best bet and watered my pocket gardens before leaving me. Men! That was needed, at this point where the corpers world was waiting for alert. The goons noticed and made it a point of duty to be part of the blessing. IMG_20151104_110346

I dropped something, even though it’s relatively small but my present condition wouldn’t have allowed me to do more. But the lesson is, when you work together as a team, the world becomes an easy road to manoeuvre. I am still growing in learning to think of others apart from myself, but the growth is gradual and I am very sure that it is the route to greatness.  I love my crew; we are different, we don’t always agree, we are uniquely excellent…but together we are phenomena.