Do you agree that every life needs an anchor? It can be a thought pattern, belief, faith or even an ideal. While the aforementioned can be classified into one, I am breaking it, so that it can meet you at the point of your bias. There must be a fulcrum that keeps one bound within the confines of sanity. Some mental rail guides that keep you stuck in the staircase of your personal journey.
Irrespective of what is yours, I have found out that when there is a conflict relating to how you interact with your anchor, it destabilizes the base. You just continue to drift to and fro ideas, beliefs, without a relatively sure stand point. Your state of uncertainty affects every part of your life and even though you may look fine outside, no sooner will your innermost fear catch up and break you. Maybe it’s a function of W B Yeats thought: things fall apart when the centre does not hold.
Often times, you can even be on a slow forward move while caught in this fix. But the personal understanding that you could have been better frustrates you. Your mind paints a picture of a future that conflicts with your present condition, leaving you discouraged. You begin to doubt the path taken; contemplating shifts that deep down you know may not be the best.
Okay, let me leave philosophy for the philosophers. For me, my Anchor is God. When my relationship with him is steady, the world looks like a big field waiting for me to come and plunder. I have realised that when God takes his place as the supreme centre, every other thing falls in place. This buttresses the bible truth that “Seek you first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and every other thing will be added to you”. However, there is a conflict between me knowing this and allowing the expression in real practical terms, hence the real problem…
Do you understand? I am listening to NO GRAY by Jonathan McReynold and it carefully captures those moments where you feel it is cool to love the lord and still go do your thing. You know things are not so right with the relationship based on you wanting to do things your own way, but precious interactions with the father keeps you on the leash, even though it doesn’t totally stop the adventure.
NO GRAY ( Jonathan McReynolds ) chorus
And if it’s God that I’m after
I can’t serve two masters
And before something happens
I got to turn it all around
Because I know
I can’t just have my cake and eat it too
Cause it’s real easy to stay on the fence and still do you
And it’d be cool if we could love the Lord and still go do our thing
But see it doesn’t work like that
You gotta to be white or black
Read more: Jonathan Mcreynolds – No Gray Lyrics | MetroLyrics
The residue of the real you, is the only thing keeping you from flipping your humanity (The vampire DAIRIES way) i.e. tilting to the other divide. One of the major problems associated with this phase is that, almost everything you need to be told to stay totally on GOD; you know it (partly or in full). Every message meets a brick wall of mental guards, who are comfortable with the present drift. Having an anchor means living within a specific routine, this doesn’t go well with a mind that doesn’t like the discipline of adventure.
Then, how do you return? Where is the melting point between allowing the drift and living the life? We agree that life should not be lived as a religion, but based on a supernatural spiritual experience, so where do we make the U-turn. This is the fix…there is no anchor and things are not looking like they are supposed to. Going deeper is not an option, going back looks slim…but I press on to the cross, for on it is my frailties hung and my salvation sure.