LONELY….

         In my head are the lyrics of Akon’s “Lonely, lonely, I am so lonely, I have nobody to call my own”, are you surprised? I know the song before now… haba calm down before you judge. Anyway, my feelings recently caught up with me in the race of life, causing a drag with a feel that in a way could be termed “Enjoy”, but with its own consequences.

      Lonely is the word, but the feeling is something that cannot be explained. In the midst of many, you can be alone in your own world. One of the experiences that can capture this thought is staying away from someone you care about. My head banged, my heart raced beyond normal like bolt and my mind revolved around thoughts.

     I really do miss her; I want to be around her. She strikes me as a completion of something good. Wow! Love is so powerful in all its form; ranging from the Eros to the agape. In each of its expressions, it can blow your mind, taking the decision making process from the sense (Logic) to the heart (Emotions).I am not thinking, but thoughts are running in my head. I am not busy yet I am tired. This feeling is so strong and I continue to search for what is stronger; Knowing full well that a journey with the heart in the driving seat does not always end well.

     However, this remains a feeling! And as a spirit being, the normal is not the norm for me. I have the capacity to survive the thick turns of the emotional terrain with Gods spirit as my guide. I really want to but it’s not the best for me. I think I have to, but the strength remains physical. Every part of me longs for that breath but the best thing for me is to live like God wants me to. I do not deny the presence of my feelings but stronger is the work of grace in my system.

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My heart skips a beat

While my eyes respond with a blink

That sometimes produces tears

I cannot just explain

 

I have been caught in a web

Struggle efforts get me more entangled

And I cannot trace how I got this angled

This lost but I am found

 

Where are you going to? My spirit shouts

I am in Love and I am following my heart was my reply

Without me?

Maybe, cos I do not understand this turn

 

But from within me springs forth strength

Born out of the saving grace of my father

Long lost but lasting love

Has saved me from the look alike love

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GRACEBOUND…

My feets hurry across the path of righteousness
To meet the land of stains
With my senses in control
Maybe with the thought of parole

Like a drop in the ocean
His love drowned my passion
His kindness strengthened my passion
Oh!the thought of the cross and its goodies

I am gracebound
In the worst and the best of times
No righteousness to stand on than his
Complete access to the throne not filthy

See the stone is rolled away
His rising has brought my rising
So dead yet alive in him
Even when I am lost
His warm embrace awaits me

CHURCH EXPERIENCE

Have you ever woken up on a Sunday morning and felt like not going to church because of the activities of Saturday night? When the guilt of the previous day shouts hypocrisy! And you struggle with the label in your mind. The question that resonates in your mind is    “After everything, I still want to go to church and lift up holy hands?”  . As simple as the situation looks, it is a swing that can cause a slide down the dark tunnel which most times still has a light at the end of the tunnel.
Over time, living through this experience was very difficult, but as knowledge grew, understanding took roots and it blossomed into a better relationship. And I got to understand: “That grace is abused, does not change what Grace is”, encouraging me to avoid all forms of sin not because I was afraid of punishment but because of God’s love for me. His love drew me close in times of dire need and at my worst; I had the confidence to approach the throne of Grace. The truth of God’s word in Hebrews 4: 16 “So we can go confidently to the throne of God’s kindness to receive mercy and find kindness which will help us at the right time” (GOD’s WORD Translation).  The Douay – Rheims bible presents the last part of that scripture as “…that we may receive mercy, and find grace in seasonable aid”. God meant it when he said so and it was an expression of a father that loves his child, and had made available a fall back plan for his sons.
God, in the beauty of his majesty, still upholds justice but mercy triumphs over judgement in the sacrifice on the cross by his son. The day you were saved, you became a son and God loves you in his son. Hence, the sacrifice of Jesus on the Christ of Calvary speaks better things for you if you will function in faith and a spirit led reaction. Do not write off yourself when God had not done that, he cares for you and does not want you to wallow in guilt. Is he concerned about your actions? Certainly yes; but has he condemned you? Certainly no. So pick up yourself like the prodigal son from the pigsty (That’s where sin leaves you), run back to the father’s open hands (because he is waiting for you) and enjoy the warm embrace of the father. He will embrace you, clean you up and establish you in the authority made available from the sacrifice of his son on the cross of Calvary.
Let your mind be focused on what God thinks about you; that you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (2 Cor 5: 21), that you are a son whom he loves (1 john 3:1), that there is no condemnation for you who is in Christ Jesus (Rom 8: 1), that you have peace with God through Christ (Rom 5:1) and you have been brought near to God (Eph 2: 13). So live in the perfect love of God that casts out all forms of fear and enjoy Gods grace upon your life. What the devil tries to put in your head is that you do not deserve it but when that comes; your reply should be that you deserve it because of what Christ has done on the cross. Daddy loves you brother (Sister) and he cares about you. So do not skip a time out with him in church because you think you are unqualified…
Daddy is waiting for you and loves you plenty, he is not angry with you but he is concerned that you are not functioning at capacity as a God. Run to him today and he will fix you up…

This Morning

The sun rises with many realities
loaded in the thick darkness that gave way to light
Yet there is no fight in times
Cos there is understanding of strength

Thin thick Talks in moments
Loaded with plans that need actions
Sufficient for a period is the pregnancy of a day
In our hands we mold it like clay

Tick Tock Tick Tock
The clock ticks down
Laziness trying to form a cloak behind the clock
But there is really no time for slack

Nature sends the sign of newness
Yet its in our court to produce the best brew
From the same grains of barley
For all will be at your bar
But what will be your star?

Questions after the rising sun of a day….

ROUND CIRCLES

Twisted turnings,the turn continues
Rounding round about same circles
Finding the path that leads from the heart
Igniting a flame that lasts like a claim

Hold me!Nobody answered
In the midst of the mist,hands looked far
And the journey left me with scars
Oh!the beauty-Ugly expression has caught my function

Was this meant to last?
Or was meant to be the last
But now the mind is on a race
And I will not decide in a haste

This looked like succour in the midst of the dry
But now its looking like a fry
There is hope it will not end in a cry
we wait the end of the try…

THORNS FOR FUN

The root has lost its grip
Though the flowers still has her momentarily blossom
But time remains in hasty pursuit
For the rose has shown its thorny parts

Very funny a trip
The end could be seen from the start
Yet there was a start
As the heart went on a journey without thought

I do not deny the fun
But was it worth the thorns?
The conflict between the divine and the soul lasted long
But now, there is a difference in charge

Pursue! Shouts from the depth of my feelings
But the calmness of the spirit speaks otherwise
And I choose the decision of the wise
In the midst of the mind as a battlefield

Now! The pair becomes one
For the Joint was but for a moment
It delayed but has now been laid
Sights sigh singing the sign of the end

ISIMENME

Thoughts into paths begin
Where two rivers meet
Welling up from the springs of Christ as the root
To be a team, throughout our youth

Hearts melt on slate
The route of the meet has more tales
More felt than something to be explained
But this journey has begun with smiles

Isimenme! I have seen your light
Radiant like the beauty of the lilies
With a heart that is good
A graced epitome of positives

Isimenme! I am ready to hold your hands
And walk the amazon of life
As twin bees looking for nectar
We will walk together to bring beauty

-Phlegvinyl